im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize