there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The air was thick with penises
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
