just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
