You can't special order awesome
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
