We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
