I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
