Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
