I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
