Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
