good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
