I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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