***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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