she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
