i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
