No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize