she was so not down for the gang bang
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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