I'm going to jail i love you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
