guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
