1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
