If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
