after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
