Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize