4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
