Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
