careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
