Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
