That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
