I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
