She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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