From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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