Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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