That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
