What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
