Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
