he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
