My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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