Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
