Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
