I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
