piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
