I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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