Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize