Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
