Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
