i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
