i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
