So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
