I'm really into asian looking animals
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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