I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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