I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
