Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
