look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
