You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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