"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
