And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
