A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
