Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
