Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
